Sunday, April 30, 2006
--[ dude... where's my... ]--
went to my eldest uncle daughter engagement...
it has been, 10 years or even more since i last saw them. the atmosphere at their house was weird. been a long time since i step into that place. you are suppose to feel joy and comfort. all that was in me was anger and frustration. one of my uncle daughter didn't even greet my mom and dad or my uncle and aunties... and, the smile on their face seems like nothing ever happen.
so yeah hmm... other that tha i'm ok...
just chilling away and keeping it cool and getting wasted half my time... dude... mid exam is on... but i'm not evne on the study track... i'm totally wasted,
dude!!! [well u know who you are] i finally understood that thing that you told me. i quote "it's ok to be afraid" thanks dude!
***
had a long chat with huda yesterday... well was fun, didnt really chat but yeah it was fun... hmm... yeah... been almost 2 freaking years... but huda, like my friend said, 'it's ok to be afraid' and yeah i'm scared... i'm terrified... and it's getting hot in here...
don't put me off, cause i'm on fire,
i can't quench my desire
don't u know i'm buring up for your love
you're not convinced that that is not enough...
| caught in rapture @ 11:41 PM|
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--[ declaration of independence ]--
april 25th, 2006. the day that i declare my state of indepence. i open up my eyes and see the world from a different point of view.
things happen for a reason in this world.
what goes around comes around.
it dosen't matter how u get there as long as you are there.
if your friend wanna leave don't make them stay.
you don't have to be notice all the time...
as much as i tried to understand life, i can never be explain. there is a point in life where you just wanna quit, drop dead and die. leaving this world, a so called happy place.
messing things up is part of the deal, he screams she shouts. words just fade. nothing ever stays the same. so move on, get a map, find a map, follow the map, get to a new place... move on.
ppl for the farking last time, am know i'm a bad person who keep on messing this up. you are just the lucky few to see my flaw.
i'm in a super confuse state and i dunt need anyone to make it worst. all i need now is some time on my own to think, reflect and find ways that i could kill myself that dosen't hurt. just kidding.
i don't have to hide no more. i know loads of ppl hate me. well i hate you guys too. but i dont go around bitching all the way. well maybe i'll bitch at times only if u really pissed me off.
even angels fall. even angels fall. even angels fall...
all i had to do now is going about my life the way i wanted to live.
you only leave once, so lived it risked it, like there's no tomorrow...
| caught in rapture @ 12:54 AM|
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Thursday, April 27, 2006
--[ thotz... etc etc ]--
i just learn sumthing new,
i need to keep muh mouth shut more often.
anyways, i got a beautiful pendant at Tian Po...
and i'm planning to get a special someone sumthing at GoldHearts...
and i'm planning to isolate myself in school now...
and...
If my friends wanna leave, I won't make them stay...
gotta start making new friends, gotta see the world... but how do you actually meet new friends?? any suggestion??
seriously, the pendant was nice... really nice... anyways going shopping tomorrow with muh dad's cards... gonna go town, get a suit... either custom made, or get the one at giordano or the one at Raff... get off to get myself a leather pants, a brown one and hmm a new blazer...
dad was toking about YESCOM, an orgi that wants to promote mly entre. hmm i donno what to sell this time round... and i got my fashion thing comming up, have another set of audi to go to tomorrow... den off to study for my mid year which start tomorrow...
ART! hmm, arty-farty... hmm gonna make my prep work on saturday, doing on a studio thkning, behind the scene of a fashion show... hope i at least pass it...
and hmm yeah planning to fail my maths and science already since i can't pass...
hmm... my mate is going to audi for this mly rock concert thingy... this 14 may i think... and if they made it through they are gonna play at esplanade waterfront and hmm some concert thingy...
hmm, anyways... dude, stop matching me up with gurls man... i'm not intrested at the moment... i'm teh one who's single and ya doing all the work... but yeah... hahaha... i willonly go out on a stupid date if you guy provide me with the income...
and yeah i didnt go skool just now so went to causeway point with my mon and dad, den i say an old friend with a very big belly... hmm yeah... pity her...
i haven been eating with shasha this week... feel akward after wad happen... and hmm yeah... i'm having much fun with ____ during recess, altho he is just pretending to be my friend since no one really cares about him... but overall he's a good mate...
hmm... MAI's is in BANGKOK NOW! i didnt asked why... but she is getting me a weird pants if she ever find one... hahaha...
btw... hmmm yeah... my mates said i'm weird, well i know that i'm weird but hmm it just sound so weird when he calls me weird when he knows i'm weird at the first place... but yeah i think i'm weird in the sense of wad he tells me the other day... hmm i'm weirder than weird... but hmm yeah i know i'm weird...
anyways i gtg now... got soime farking mid exam to do tomorrow... wish me lucks!!!
| caught in rapture @ 7:43 PM|
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Wednesday, April 19, 2006
--[ me in the middle ]--
got into a confrontation just now... and from the moment it started, i feel so bad...
technically, i know my sarcastic words is a pain in the arse... everone has a story... just that, i unt really wanna share... i have and always been the cause of every problem that has been happening all this years...
i just a bad ass boy trying to be good... i was born to be a natural bad ass... i was once when i was in pri school... but... being influence by ppl, i tried to change... i did, but never for long...
i dont care if the worlds hates me or anything... i dont care... i could just pack my bag and leave anytime i wanted too...
it is one of those moment that i wish i could just drop dead and die...
silence is all that i have to give...
"smiling everyday with a broken heart
nobody knows
my story not told
smiling everyday with a broken smile
nobody really knows
i'm struggling inside..."
about the farking fashion thing... i just to caught up with it...
wonder wad is wrong with me... am i like having another mental breakdown?
i'm not even sure if i can do muh maths test tomorrow...
i'm not sure of anything now...
i can't pretend things never happen... i can pretend that everything is alright...
my life has never been sunshine and rainbows...
i'm just thinking to much... wads is wrong with me...
i am a heartless bastard ppl say i am?
i'm just a mean machine... with no emotions...
and for the last time!!! I DONT GOT EVERYTHING I WANTED!!!
that is just one thing i cant accept... when ppl tell me that i got everting...
leave... lost...
| caught in rapture @ 11:04 PM|
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Thursday, April 13, 2006
--[ it's true what they say ]--
when ya not looking for love, love smack you in the face...
INFACTUATION!
went to school today [wednesday]... with some juniors... and they were like... telling me that this eura gal likes me... and i wasen't even intrested...
so yeah they said that she wanted to go to school with me today [thursday] OMG! no way... totally freaky... there are guys out there chasing her... but still, in invisible dude got found... sheesh... so yeah i don't know wad's gonna happen today when i go to school in a few hours time... well have ta dress mah best... maybe i should flirt a lil with some mates in front of her to make her feels jealous... wahahaha... mean guy...
i had a dream that i was going to premier my launch of my labels but when i was there, no one was there... freaky... ppl, i learn to sew and i sew perfectly... hahaha... made a dress for a portfolio thingy and gonna go to my 2nd interview soon... it was awesome...
other than that, i really enjoy going to skool spending time with muh friends... i can't really focus tho... and my hair is super short... and hmm yeah hahaha... haven't been updating for a long time, don't really have time... didn't even went online for more than an hour...
BOY INTERRUPTED!
life been great... tho many sins were done... hahaha... and hmm yeah... ppl are bitching about one another in school... for some reason, my global freinds been busy too... i'm so super childish... was plaing like a gun thingy with muh pencil case... and was like immagining that i was a pilot during malay class... well yeah maybe it's pre exam syndrome... anyways...
seems that someone is kinda distracted in a way... but still muh mind is on that eura gal... shit... i really dunt wanna have anything to do with her... anyways... i was planning to tell her i'm gay and not intrested in gurls... hahaha it work once... well almost hahaha...
ahhhhhhhhhh... my leg is numb and it's super painful...
anyways, i love earls... hahaha... maybe karma does work... and i watch this very sad love story about a boy who like a gurl but the gurl like another guy and the guy like the guy who like the gurl... and their son were in the middle, but yueah... it's kinda annoying coz the subu tittle wasent clear.. and their language [russian] was very nice...
anyways igtg sleep now... yawn... bed a calling me... and i have a drem to dream about...
btw, it's tru wad they say...
| caught in rapture @ 12:36 AM|
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Wednesday, April 05, 2006
--[ how the heart feels ]--
it's a mystery how one women can drive you crazy over and over again...
and the perfect women will always leads you in the right direction...
R-E-P-H-R-A-S-E-!
it's a mystery how one guy can drive you crazy over and over again...
and the perfect men will always leads you in the right direction...
aight... hmmm... i just found it weird that you could fall for the same person over and over again...
hmm... ok thas all i wanna say... dunt have mucht o say anyways...
and hmm Mai... you can beg all u want but i stil won't tell you about my seductive dream... hahaha...
btw Ary, been waiting for the video for a long long long long time already!!!
| caught in rapture @ 8:57 PM|
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Tuesday, April 04, 2006
--[ updates for the unupdates entries ]--
it's a mystery how one women can drive you crazy over and over again...
and the perfect women will always leads you in the right direction...
a friend of mine asked me what kind of women do i want my fiture wife to be...
this time the answers are different, guess that, over and all u can't be a good dude when you are suppose to be bad. i'm a sinner not a saint and i admit to that... get back to the future thingy,
my answers was: i wanted her to be elegant, graceful and poise, loud, shameless, funny, not too religious, and has to hve the basic looks... just figuring that, the person that you are gonna spent your life with has to be the kinda you can get along with.
i keep on having this weird seductive dream... wonder wad it is telling me...
simple said, i'm lost again... and i'm practicaly drunk...
---
hmmm... had NAFFA test today... manage to get hold of 3 A's and 2 C's. A's for:sit-up, stuttle-run and sit and reach. C's for: pull up and standing broad jump...
gonna retake my standing broad jump and pull up... since the A's for pull up is 8 and i manage to do 5 so i'll think about it... and standing broad jump for a B. was i donno 6 more cms of my jump... fuck hahahaha... 2.4km is next momday aiming for an A... just gtg be like, 40 secs faster to get that fucking A...
---
i'm sewing this tude cocktail dress... doing just fine, but running out of funds... wahahah... hmm mom and dad gonna help me on that. gonna go cloth hunting next tuesday at Geylang... and hmm this weekend maybe gtg get muh laces... so yeah mom been really supportive and ada too... and dad even got me thsi fold up wall table for my sewing stuff... so yeah he's supportive... told u fights brings ppl closer...
---
i think this is the end... nights...
| caught in rapture @ 12:24 AM|
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