Monday, June 26, 2006
--[ if only they understand ]--
i wish i could shout, scream, make a scene out of it.
what is the point they wont understand.
they would just freak out.
secondary life is totally sucky,
you are such an outcast if you are a lil bit different.
whatthe heck? whats the point of trying?
stop asking me to try since, eveyone give up on me.
i'm a sinner, i'm insane.
i'm never gonna be normal.
i have my way , i have my needs,
i have a plan for me.
i know what i'm doing.
even tho it is basically wrong,
or weird, thats me
accept it.
counting the days.
~*~*~*~
saw someone today, wow, never thought i'll ever see that idiot again.
wonder how that idiot is feeling.
wonder if the thing is hers.
wopnder if that the idiot, salve.
| caught in rapture @ 10:59 PM|
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Saturday, June 24, 2006
--[ too late, it just too late ]--
i haven been online for days now,
logmin to friendster, saw a friend request, 'lil ron',
watever, who does our etchnic ppl always disguise themselve to be someone else?
why can't they just accept who they are?
thats not the main thing,
i got a handful of testimonials,
and yeah, one of them really caught my eyes,
i quote
"heY theR!!iTs been a L0ng time sincE we hang 0ut..hmm..acTuaLi haFiz iS a GUd fWen..S0metimEs hE maY b ruDe..bUt hEy n0 0ne is perfect..he is fuNi wiT s0me 0f his lame j0kes..
he is als0 a gud designer..reaLi..seen his drawin..can saY he is a perfectioniST..
eRmm..hangIn 0ut wit him is fUn when theR is n0 0theR Bitches wh0 is ar0und..cuz i n0e him..he n0es me..anD s0metimes pEEpz t0ut tat we R a c0uple..haha..he's swEEt..stiLL remember Tat he made a supRise bdae parTy fer me..anD spend mY bdae wiT me whEn tings doesNt g0 as planned..
s0metimes i w0nder why ther's s0o manY baRRiers iN 0ur friendshiP..bUt n0 matter wat i sTiLL Like him tHe waY he is..i reaLise tat i Sh0uld't b0ther b0ut th0se little things tat aFFect 0ur friendship...0f cuz theR's high n l0w in Life..aNd we've been thRu tat..
HaHa..we wiLL stiLL b fwen cuZ 0nly death d0 us PART!!
peACE,
f0rget mE n0t('',)"
Well, maybe those of you would know who is this from,
to that person here is your answers.
well, our friendship is build on one on one communications, meaning
thig would be ok and turn out great.
you wonder why there is so many barriers? truth is,
i'm a man of many secrets, and sometimes in order for me to keep it save,
i have to lie.
these are secrest of which can't be told to anyone, and,
i can hardly remember anything i've said, cause, '
who ever remember wad they said,
last week or months before or even just a while ago.
things i remember are the moments,
like the time we get u the watch,
like the time, we talk at the void opposite of 888
the time when we ate Bk at ur house
the times when u laugh
the teacher,
perfume contest,
these are things that i remembers,
u know, me and you, we are totally different,
i'm opposite of you, and after a long gone
without you, mirically,
i've move on.
things that u said, that night,
are the moments, freshly in my head,
and if u wantthe date, i have it,
i could bring on a come back by telling u all ur flaws,
but, what does it worth? it's all about tolorence.
i was silent for so long cause,
i have so much thhings to said,
i just can't said it.
and yesh, i hope that idiot is finally happy cause he finally got u to himself.
this was a turning point of my life,i was waiting for a reassurance,
but i never did get it.
it amaze me how fast u move on,
crushed- seeing u going to school with some other guy
fact is, i got sick and tired of waiting for u all day,
but i just keep quiet, those are the lil things
that u should tolarate.
i thought when i read that testi, i could find tghe warmth and comfort that i use to feel,
but nope, i didn't feel anything - numbness
well, those words u said,
i quote
"we can still be friends, but not as close"
i live it up.
we are still friends but no longer the same,
'till death do us part'
~*~*~*~
and to huda, just lay it low for a moment aight, dunt think of anything neagative,
i'm just going through a rough patch,
trying to figure out everything,
and anything that have gotten me in a mess.
| caught in rapture @ 7:02 PM|
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Friday, June 16, 2006
--[ just emotions ]--
i was browsing the web, when i saw one of my pieces.
Friends Forever.
it was a lie.
den i saw a smile. 2 names. mine wasen't in it.
it was devastating.
even tho i hate to admit. I miss them, LOADS!
if i could have one wish, i wish i wouldn't have met them all. My heart won't be broken by the greatest ppl in the world.
was it my fault it all happen? or was it becasue of shitty ppls mouth?
was it beacause of pride? jealousy? envy?
Everyone wants something that they can't have. Something that they want the otheres treasure.
FRIENDSHIP!
was i just a mistake to make her realise the truth?
was i justg a lab rat for them to play with?
words hurt? Ommision is betrayal.
~*~*~*~
am i cheating on her?
I'm not even attach.
this bog no longer hold everything that i want to say.
my though, feeling, guilt... it aint easy anymore.
i'm in between. i have a choice to make.
i'm in love with her.
others are hinting. waiting. looking from afar.
i donno what i want to do.
love should be illicit.
~*~*~*~
A different concept of approach.
everthing has change.
everthing mean nothing.
if i'm not myself
a wise girl once said.
Love started with a kiss and ends with a tear.
well yeah,
i'm waiting for sometime, but it never did came.
still waiting, time is ticking.
still waiting,
nothing came.
places to go, people to meet. I'll survive,
even if i don't got u.
no point in grieving, no point in missing
ppl who dunt even care,
when you are standing thre. right in front of them.
shadowed Blend. Unknown. UnNotice. CEase To ExiST.
| caught in rapture @ 1:22 AM|
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Wednesday, June 07, 2006
--[ Moments ]--
moments are just moments. it wont last forever.
my minds going nuts
thinking of something, but i dont know wad.
i'm torn in pieces.
fragile.
useless.
week
uncertain.
question unanswered.
if only i could get every lil pieces of my confusion together.
puzzled solved.
i dunt have to spent my days pondering about everything anymore.
like i say those are just moments.
pictures stored in ur mind, playing back over and over again.
an old movie. A vintage.
soon, things got crappy and u wonder why thig turn out that way.
birth of confusion.
a moment will never last.
it can only be remembered.
it will lead to confusion.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
someone made me realise how badly dress i am.
not pretty sure.
now, i'm like some wannabe.
attracting attention.
trying to gain some recognition.
wanna get notice.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
I miss that someone, badly. Btw, not u are, the one missing for 2 weeks.
well, maybe certain people aren't meant to be friends.
maybe that is just how life is.
u can only plan it, but it is all up to god to make the choice.
i never really thought of it that much.
i wanna stay a kid.
i miss that person too much.
but look on the bright side, wait, there's not bright side.
well, now the person that i miss alot, the one missing for two weeks.
wonder where u are?
look at the moon.
look at the stars.
we are under the same night sky.
kinky but cute hahaha.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
here's a lil something.
there's something wrong and i can sense it
but u cant blame me entirely
something a mist
and i know u dont care
coz like any other problem
u would always runaway
why did u even give me that sweet smile
why did u even laugh it off
why did u even say u care
when most of the time ya never there
why are you wasting your time
when u can have it all
why did you even do all that
all the time wasted
a preview of my piece.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
btw, liz... my u know wad, is stuck. i'm on my 2nd hehehe.... and i can't let u see...
wow that sounds weird... but u know wad i'm talking about right??
hope so...
| caught in rapture @ 5:47 PM|
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