Saturday, September 30, 2006

--[c0nfession]--

i've been doing a lot of thinking lately.
re-evaluating my life and all.
this isn't the life i wanted.
this isn't what i want.
i never really wanna be: a fashion designer.
i wanna be a journalist; a world renown.

so how i end up in fashion?
everyone is doing it.
and why did i do it?
b'boz i had an opputunity to go towards it.

this has been a wake up call for me.
you all always think u know wad u want.
but once u get it, it is a lil different.
so whatthe hell am i still doing fashion?
is it really my intrest?
or izzit just something that i know i could get,
izzit because i have loads of connections?
i'm confuse.

what happen to that lil boy who always wanted to be a journalist?
the one who frequently asked question?
the one who thinks that all the infomation given is not adequate?

what happen to that novel he was writing?
wad happen to all those great articles he's been keeping?
wad happen to his online forum?

all of that is gone,
i'm the kinda person who can take others emotions and make it be mine...
i can mimic an emotion of a person feelings.

fashion? it is just a phase?
would i die to get a positon in the fashion industry?
no.
coz if i'm dead, i'll have no position.
but i would wanna be a journalis cum magazine editor,

that would be different.
i love to write?
i love to play with words
i'm good at it.

designing?
i have no idea...

i've been expose to so many thing since i was little,
a blessing most of you might say
but it is a curse to me..

i can do:
t-shirt
jewellries
dresses
lingerie
boxers
pottery
mini-mag
poetry
novel
short stories
buisness
marketing
etc...

but wad do i really want?
ther is something deep within me yet to be discover,
fashion is teh surface,
journilist is just under it...
what deeper in the end is yet to be known.
it takes trial and errors to get waht you want.
and i'm re-evaluating my life again.

btw, friends arent friends forever


| caught in rapture @ 4:06 AM|

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